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Hard Truth Podcast: Worrying What Others Think

EPISODE 17

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ABOUT THIS EPISODE

In today’s episode of “The Hard Truth”, we discuss the empowering journey of releasing the burden of others’ opinions to truly focus on personal growth and self-acceptance. We explore strategies such as practicing self-compassion, embracing our imperfections, and the benefits of curtailing social media usage to minimize unhealthy comparisons. Learn about the significance of cultivating a supportive circle and how replacing detrimental self-criticism with uplifting affirmations can transform your self-perception and actions. Tune in to discover essential insights on how to prioritize your own goals and values, and step into the most authentic version of yourself. Join us to master the art of living unequivocally for yourself and fulfilling your true potential.

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Welcome to The Hard Truth Podcast.

This is Jeremy Fouts, and today’s topic is going to be talking about not wearing about what others think.

You know, I want you to really digest this information.

I’m gonna share with you five points that’s helped me a lot in life.

It’s, I have watched so many people struggle with this topic of wearing about what other people think.

This topic of not worrying about what other people think, you know, it’s one of those topics that a lot of people, you know, they don’t want to discuss, and they really kind of make the statement often of, you know, I’m not worried about what other people think.

And then they go home, and they’re thinking, well, what if I do this and it don’t work?

What will other people think?

What happens if I post this, and people, you know, wonder how good of a job I did or in that post, or, you know, all these different things?

What happens if I try to go for this promotion and I don’t get it?

What happens if I try to start lifting weights and I don’t get the results I’m looking for?

What happens if, and most of us, let this one topic keep us from becoming the person that we need to become, the person we was designed to be.

So this is a topic that even myself have struggled with this.

I look back through so many times in business that I was sitting there teeter-tottering back and forth of do I go for it, do I not?

And I’ve so many times, thankfully, made the right decision to go for it, but what was keeping me from going for it that I was always going back to is what are other people going to think?

Guys, trust me on this.

You do not have to worry about what other people think once you get these five points that I’m gonna share with you today really focused in on.

So I hope that this message today really gets you out of your shell, really makes you push yourself to go for whatever it is that you wanna accomplish in your life, because when it’s all said and done, I mean, when our number is called, it’s gonna be all about did we perform, did we go through life, and did we become the person that we need to become.

That’s all that matters.

So just today, write down these five points and put them to work and become that person you need to be.

So number one is focus on you.

Focus on you.

Understand your values, understand your beliefs, your goals, what it is you’re trying to accomplish.

And when you are clear about what you are trying to accomplish, no one else’s opinions matter.

I mean, learn how to ignore others and go out perform them.

The difference between you, or excuse me, the difference between who you are and what you want to be is what you do on a daily basis.

So focus on you.

I see so many people struggle with this.

They’re like, well, but what if I do this?

And what if, you know, what are my mom’s, what is my mom gonna think?

What is my coworker gonna think?

What is this person going to think?

When you have a clear passion about what it is you want to accomplish, this is my beliefs.

This is my goals of what I want to accomplish over the next two years.

This is what the person, this is who the person it is that I want to become.

And you’re very, very clear on that.

Then other people’s opinions don’t matter.

You know, I mean, I tell you, no one is going to come save you.

No one is going to come pay your rent.

No one’s going to come pay your mortgage.

No one is going to come, you know, offer you a big inheritance from Uncle Joe or whatever the situation.

Nine times out of 10, maybe one of you are listening.

That might be the case.

But you’ve got to go through life and say, you know what?

I’m going to control what I can control.

And what I can control is I’m going to focus on me.

Here’s what I believe in.

Here’s what my clear plan of action is.

Here’s the person I want to be.

And I am not worried about what other people’s opinions are.

Number two is be kind to self and understand that it’s OK to make mistakes.

It’s OK not to be perfect.

I mean, failures are lessons.

No one is going to believe in you until you get it done.

You know, people often, they call and they say, you know what?

What if this don’t work?

If this don’t work, you know what?

We’re going to learn from it, and we’re going to go find something else.

You know, what if I don’t get all the support from my family, my friends, all these other different things?

Guys, you’re not going to probably get the support.

You’re probably not going to get your friends and family to rally behind your beliefs and your goals.

That’s not going to happen.

No one usually is going to believe in you until you get it done.

And then when you get it done, I promise you, you’re going to have so many friends and family say, you know what, I knew you could do it.

You know, by the way, can I borrow some money?

I knew that you could get fit.

I knew that you could do all the things that you’ve been saying you’re going to do.

Guys, no one is going to believe in you until you get it done.

So don’t worry about making mistakes.

Don’t worry about having a failure.

You’re going to have…

I have so many failures throughout my business career, my relationships.

I’ve not always been perfect.

I’ve not been the best friend.

I’ve not been the best husband.

I’ve not been the best dad.

I’ve not…

You’re going to make mistakes.

You let those be lessons, and you be kind to self and say, I am not born to be perfect.

It’s going to happen, but that’s okay.

And I understand no one is going to believe in me till I get it done, but I’m going to give myself some patience here, and I’m going to keep going on the course, and I will succeed.

Number three is limit social media.

You know, I know social media is a great tool.

It’s a powerful tool.

I know it’s great for exposure, but taking breaks from social media.

I was talking to my Otis boy earlier today in the office, and I said, you know, Pearson, one of the things that I’ve done in business is any time I kind of get in a funk, any time I kind of get in a rut, I’ve always just deleted my Facebook app, deleted my Instagram app for a few minutes, let my assistant control it.

And then I said, you know what?

I am not going to worry about how many likes I get, how many comments I get.

I’ll send them information to post, or I’ll post, I’ll turn my notifications off.

And you know what?

I do not need or have to rely on what it feeds my ego by how many likes or how many comments or anything.

See, social media is a great tool again, but you don’t need others to tell you you’re doing a good job.

You’ve got to have a desire inside you to prove to self that you can be the best that you can be, the person that God made you to be.

You know, social media can be one of the biggest disruptions to you controlling your outcome because you’re worried about what?

If I do post this, will I get a like?

If I do post this, will people comment?

You know what?

That’s not what it’s there for.

Social media is there for a tool for me to say, this is who I believe I am.

This is my goals.

This is what I’m trying to accomplish.

This is what I’m pursuing.

Like it or not, that’s okay that all this is is a tool for me to post.

But guys, sometimes you need to walk away a little bit from social media.

You don’t have to worry about what other people are liking on your posts or commenting on your posts.

You gotta say, I’m not doing it for them.

I’m not doing it for the likes.

I don’t need anything to feed my ego because I remember on point one that I’m focusing on me and I believe in my values and believe in what it is I’m trying to accomplish with my goals and everything.

Everything else will take care of itself, but there is a time where you gotta limit that social media and not worrying about what other people think.

Number four is surround yourself with people who respect and support you.

Now, I will say this, that’s not very many people.

Now, you might say, well Jeremy, I’ve got all these friends.

I’ve got all these family members.

Well, I’m gonna tell you right now, you might have a lot of friends that you think are friends.

You might have a lot of family members that you think are supporting you.

But when it’s all said and done, there’s probably on about three or four around you that totally will support you.

And you gotta learn to say no to the people that don’t align with your values.

You got to say, you know what?

I’ll still be friends with that person, acquaintances with that person, but I am not going to bring that person to my inner circle.

I’m not gonna call that person on a daily basis and ask them what they think about my next move.

Now, here’s something that was really hard for me to understand.

I didn’t understand this till probably mid-30s.

Not everyone wants to see you win.

And you say, well, I don’t really believe that.

It’s the truth.

That’s why we call it The Hard Truth Podcast.

Not everybody wants, why is that, Jeremy?

Why does everyone not want to see me win?

It’s because when you win, it makes them look bad.

You have to change and become a different person than you’ve ever became before.

So if you’re a person that is overweight and you get fit, you know what, that makes them look bad.

If you become a person that ends up making more income than them, that makes them look bad.

You have to become someone that you have never been before.

And who cares if they’re talking about you?

Let that be fuel that drives you, because they will talk about you.

About the fifth day you go to the gym and the road, they’re gonna be like, man, why don’t you meet me at Happyard?

You’re about the fifth day that you follow that nutrition plan, they’re like, man, come eat some donuts with me.

About the fifth day that you’re reading the book instead of playing on social media, they’re like, man, where have you been?

But surround yourself with those few people who respect and support your beliefs and what it is that you wanna accomplish and set boundaries up for those that don’t.

And don’t be worried about that.

Say, you know what?

That’s the way life is.

And I’ve gotta surround myself with a few select people.

Not everyone wants me to win.

I understand that.

But when I win, every one of them will be your fan.

I promise you.

Number five is replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations.

Don’t let fear of judgment dictate your actions.

Here’s something I also learned in my 30s is, guys, you will be judged.

If you’re broke, people’s gonna say, that lazy son of a guy, son of a gun, all he wants to do is lay around.

Therefore, he’s living in, you know, a bad house, driving a bad car, wearing bad clothes.

If you are rich, they’re like, man, all he does is worry about money.

He’s got a nice house, a nice car, and nice clothes.

If you’re fat, they’re gonna say, oh, he’s lazy.

He just goes to McDonald’s.

Don’t go to the gym.

If you’re fit, they’re gonna say, man, that guy, you know, he’s, all he is a gym rat or, you know, he may be taking some weight loss pill or whatever the situation.

You will be judged.

I’ve told my boys, if you get big and jacked, they’re gonna say you’re using steroids.

If you get rich, they’re gonna say you got lucky or you inherited money.

I mean, it’s just the way life is, but you cannot worry about being judged.

You cannot worry about, you’re gonna be judged.

So why not be the best you can be on a daily basis?

Why not be that person that you want to become?

Next point that I put down here under point five is do it for you.

You know, I talk to my boys often about sports, and I’m raising athletes, and I’m very passionate about that because I believe athletics is not only good for winning a championship on a Saturday playing sports, it’s preparing them for life.

And something I talk to them often about is don’t do it for dad.

Don’t do it for coach.

Don’t do it for me to post something on Instagram that your team won a championship this weekend.

Do it for you.

And when you really do something for you, you should not be worrying about what other people think.

See, there’s three things that can’t be bought, but must be earned, and that is a fit body, a peaceful mind, and loving relationships.

And I firmly believe that if you have a fit body and you put all the work that you can into becoming the best you can be fit-wise, your nutrition plan, your workout plan, all those things, then you will have a peaceful mind because you have a plan every day.

You wake up and you are putting in the work personal development.

You’re putting in the work physically.

You’re putting in the work nutrition.

Then if you do those two things, what’s going to happen because you’re going to have that confidence in yourself, you’re going to love yourself, so you’re going to have those loving relationships.

Those loving relationships is going to have a good spouse relationship.

You’re going to have a good relationship with your kids.

You’re going to have good working relationships at work.

You’re going to have people that want to work hard for you if you own a business because you’re going to treat them right.

You’re going to have kids that want to perform for you because you’re going to be the example.

You’re going to have a big influx in your income because you’re going to have those three things mastered.

You’re going to be able to live in the house you want to live.

You’re going to become the person that you want to become.

And you have to remember that we don’t worry about what others think because at the end of the day, if I have a fit body and I have peace in my mind, that I give it everything I got on a daily basis and I have loving relationships around me, then you know what?

I’m not worried about what other people think.

So today, I hope that you took this podcast and you said, man, Jeremy is right.

I’m going to focus on me, my beliefs, my values, what it is I’m trying to accomplish.

I’m going to give myself some grace and understand I’m not going to be perfect all the time.

You know what?

I’m going to use social media as a tool and a learning device, not based on how it feeds my ego and how many likes and comments I got because I don’t need that validation from others.

I’m going to surround myself with those few select people because not everyone wants me to win.

And I’m going to replace that negative talk in my mind, and I’m going to put positive affirmations in front of it and say, if I’m going to be judged, I might as well be judged as saying that guy was lucky, that guy, you know, whatever the situation that people will say.

But I’m not going to be the opposite of that because I’m doing this for me because I want to have a fit body.

I want to have a peaceful mind, and I want to have loving relationships around me because I’m not worried about what other people think.

Thank you guys for joining The Hard Truth Podcast.

Share this with a friend or family member that you see has that potential to be great.

They just never have broke out of that shell and went for it because they’re worried about what others think.

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