Hard Truth Podcast: Life Balance

Welcome to The Hard Truth Podcast.

This is Jeremy Fouts, and today’s topic, we are gonna be talking about life balance.

I’m gonna share with you 10 points, and trust me, this is kind of a difficult podcast for me to do, because I know all of us are at a different point in life, but I’m gonna do my best to give you 10 things that I’ve always looked at, and making sure that my life is in balance.

You know, as I mentioned, this podcast is something I’ve been wanting to do for quite some time, but it’s so hard to give the right answers to every person listening, because every person is in a different spot in life.

But I’m gonna do my best today, and the one thing that I see a lot on social media, I hear people talk about over and over, is your life is out of balance, or how do we have balance in our life?

We need to make income, we need to spend time with our family, all these different things.

And the quick answer is, it’s difficult.

I mean, it’s very difficult to always stay in balance.

And the truth is, it’s not always gonna stay in balance.

I mean, and I’m gonna talk about some different scenarios of my life in the past, and where I’m at currently, what I’m doing on a daily basis to monitor that life balance.

And all of our life is crazy.

I mean, I’ve got two teenage boys now that’s very active in sports.

You know, last night, my wife and Beckett didn’t get home till one o’clock in the morning.

I have an early workout plan, and I have all these different things, but you adjust, you adapt, and I’m gonna talk about those things today that hopefully helps you.

Number one, give yourself some grace, that everything is not always going to be perfect, but I’m gonna give you some measurable things that you always look and make sure that you’re making the right adjustments on a daily basis.

Number one, where are you in life, first and foremost?

You know, when I work with people, you know, I like to just really break things down.

Where are they in life?

Let’s do a good evaluation of the main things in life, which is your faith, your relationships, your finances, and your health.

You know, so before you can really create a balance and a structure and a routine in your life, you have to grade yourself on these things.

You know, because obviously if you have a lot of money, but you don’t have no faith, you don’t have no relationships, you have no health, then you really didn’t accomplish what you’re trying to accomplish, hopefully.

You know, if you have good health, but you’re not making enough money to be able to do the things you want to do in life and spend the time in the relationships, you know, then that don’t really add up either.

So, you know, you have got to do, and not anybody can do this for you.

You have to do this yourself of doing a good evaluation of the things that’s most important to you in your life, your faith, your relationships, your finances, and your health.

And then we are now going to prioritize a lot of our focus in order to what needs the most attention.

Number two is determine what season of life you are in.

A lot of you have heard my story.

I grew up on a farm and ranch, and I love the agriculture background.

And one thing that you learn, and I’m going to do a whole podcast one day talking about the four seasons, is there’s four different seasons.

You have winter time, you have springtime, you have summertime, and you have fall time.

You know, so once you figure out, this is where I’m at in my life.

Wintertime is the time where we’re getting together a plan.

You know, we’re getting ready to put the seed in the ground.

I mean, that is so important at that time to really focus on your personal development, really focus on your plan.

But springtime, that is when you are in mode of planting as many seeds as you can.

See, the reason I said at the beginning, where are you in life?

I don’t know where you are in life.

You might say, Jeremy, I’ve got great relationships.

I’m going to the gym every day.

You know, I need to focus on my finances.

So this is during the springtime.

And during that springtime, you know, my dad always made a comment, you’re not ever going to get a farmer to be able to take away in the springtime to go play golf, to go bowling, to any of those top things.

This is when you need to make it happen.

So you have got to, after you sit down and do a good evaluation of your life, you’ve got to sit down with your spouse.

You’ve got to sit down with your family.

And I know it’s another one of my points.

I always jump ahead.

But you’ve got to say, my wife, my husband, my kids, this is springtime, and I have got to go take care of some finances.

I’ve got to go do what I got to do.

And I will tell you this, once you get into that work mode, once you find a focus to say, I need to make as much income as I can over the next 90 days, six months, a year to two years, you are going to have family that’s going to ridicule you.

You’re going to have friends that’s going to say, all you do is work.

All you do is work.

Your life is out of balance.

Don’t worry about that distraction.

You’ve got to figure out what season you are in.

If it’s springtime, you have got to make it happen.

The summertime is when you’re cultivating those relationships.

You’re making sure that you’re getting the weeds out, the negativity in your life.

You’re putting furloughs on the good relationships.

And then the fall time is when you evaluate your harvest and recognize what you did wrong.

Reward yourself for what you did right.

And then you go straight into winter, plan again, spring again.

I’m gonna do a whole podcast on this.

But you have got to determine what season you are in.

Where are you right now?

And where are we gonna put our focus?

Number three is understand the long-term go.

I think this is what a lot of people struggle with, the long-term go.

They’re thinking, you know, I’m also gonna do a podcast in the near future, talking about the middle-aged man, because it’s so easy to kind of go through life, and you make enough money, you’re putting food on the table, your kids are doing their own thing, the wife is doing their own thing, but you kind of lose focus and that desire and that purpose to go compete again.

And I think the reason for that is we forget the long-term go.

We make money, we put food on the table, we pay the mortgage, we pay the payments, all those different things.

But here’s what you really gotta understand.

The long-term go here is number one, accomplish freedom of finance.

To get yourself in a situation where you have a big enough nest egg, big enough retirement funds, all those things, because the finances is not what’s going to make you feel complete.

But what that’s going to do is that’s going to give you freedom of time.

So you’re able now to do some more things that you want to do versus doing the things you have to do to put food on the table.

And then that’s going to help you develop a freedom of relationships.

So think about it today.

If you had millions in the bank, you was able to work on the time you want, you was able to spend the time on the relationships, how would that change your life?

And then the big thing that we’re trying to do is get to a point in our life where we’re freedom of purpose.

Well, we’re sitting here and we’re thinking, you know what, I might not have loved that career, but I took care of business.

I climbed my way up the ladder.

If I owned my business, I built that business, got myself in a situation where I was able to buy my time, focus on relationships, but now I’m able to focus on my purpose.

Guys, trust me, the ultimate go is to get yourself in a situation and have good enough balance in your life that we get to that point of freedom of purpose.

This is why I was created.

I’m gonna put all of my attention here.

Next, number four is get organized and learn how to work the calendar.

Now, I’ve got a lot of people that listen to this podcast.

Some know me on a personal level, and this is one of my weaknesses, okay?

All the way up to my 30s.

This was a big weakness of myself because I was always grew up in that environment where I was a farmer and a rancher, and you just did things as they came to you.

And you didn’t plan a whole lot because things changed.

You know, you plan on planning and then it rains.

You plan on this and then this happens, that happens.

I learned in my mid 30s to work the calendar.

So personally, what I do still to this day is on Sunday afternoon, I figure out my whole next week.

And then I’ll project and do things, obviously, you know, podcast scheduling, you know, whatever my boys sporting events, all those way into before next, you know, way into the next couple months.

But I always plan what I’m gonna do for this next week and get organized.

Every day counts.

You know, what are you doing on your personal fitness?

What are you doing on your personal development?

What are we doing to make in the maximum income this next week?

But you have to learn how to work the calendar.

One of the things that I’ve always recognized with successful people is if you ask them, can you do this next Tuesday at lunch?

They pull up their calendar and they say, no, I’m booked in.

I mean, if I ask someone what day today is, and they’re like, well, I don’t know, is it June 15th?

Is it June 20th?

I don’t really know what day it is.

That tells me that the calendar is working them.

They’re not working the calendar.

So in order to have balance in your life, you have to put that calendar to work.

You have to say, on this day, I’m doing this for myself.

On this day, I’m doing this for my personal fitness, or all those days you need to be doing that.

But this is what I’m doing.

Something that I’ve actually started to do, even on the weekends, is I go in the calendar and I say, at 8 o’clock, I’m going to be at the gym.

You know, it’s so easy for me to get sidetracked with the family, whatever, but now they see in my calendar, dad’s going to be at the gym at this time.

Dad’s going to probably cook breakfast right after he gets back from the gym.

Dad’s going to be doing this in the calendar.

But you have to learn how to work the calendar.

Number five, something I have really had a hard time with until I was in my mid 30s, is saying no to the time suckers and the activities that does not bring value in your life.

You know, when I hear the word balance, when people say, you know, what kind of balance do you have with your relationships and your family and your income and all these different things, you know, one of the biggest things that I tell them is say no.

Learn how to say no.

I learned a quick statement out of a book that I read back in my 30s, and it made me millions of dollars and gave me so much peace of mind and calmness.

And that was this right here.

As of right now, I cannot, but if something changes in my schedule, I will let you know.

And that was so easy for me to learn that for when people asked me, maybe that time sucker, that person that would come to me and ask me for coffee on Saturday morning at 10, I knew I didn’t want to do it.

I didn’t want to say no, I don’t want to do it, but I would always say as of right now, I can’t, but if something changes in my schedule, I will let you know.

That was something that made me millions of dollars.

And again, more than the money, it gave me a peace of mind of knowing that I haven’t over committed to something that I don’t want to be at.

I have not over committed to something that’s not going to bring value to my life.

There’s two types of people out there, and you have to be really careful when we talk about balance.

There’s vacuums and there’s batteries.

If it’s a vacuum person that’s always sucking energy out of me, always pulling out of me, then I limit my time that I’m with that person.

If it’s a battery situation where that person is giving me a charge, that person is bringing value into my life, those are the people that I accept coffee with on a Saturday morning at 10 o’clock.

But learn how to say no to the time suckers and the activities that don’t bring value into your life.

Number six is get on the same page with your spouse and your family and let them know the plan.

You know, I’ve started doing family meetings and I’ve did this since the boys were small, but I’ll just call a family meeting.

And depending on where I’m at in my life, as I evaluate my balance of my life, if I’m needing to really turn up my work schedule, here’s what I do.

I bring into a family meeting.

And of course, I’ve already talked to my wife, Candice, about this, but I bring the boys in and say, hey, over the next 90 days, here’s what dad’s schedule is.

Here’s why dad is turning up his game.

Here’s what I’m trying to focus on.

Here’s what I’m trying to build.

We are at this point with the company.

We’re gonna get to here in the next 90 days.

In order for that to happen, it’s gonna take some sacrifices from the whole family.

But here’s why I am doing this.

And I want you to buy in on my plan.

That is so critical.

If I’m leaving my kids on meetings at night and missing a ball game here and there, I’m not telling you what to do.

I’m just telling you, depending on where you are in your life, that may happen.

But they understand because they say, Dad is on a mission right now.

And I’ll tell you, I haven’t had to miss very many games because one of the greatest things I did is took care of the finances in my 30s.

But there’s going to be a time in your life and you have got to look at the balance in your life and say, I’m in the season for spring.

I need to make things happen in order for me to make things happen that I’m probably going to miss out on a few things.

I made the conscious decision back when my boys was very, very small that I literally, and you may judge me, that’s okay.

But I literally spent 200 and something days a year, a lot of time speaking away from them, but they was three and one.

They don’t really remember that time.

But I can tell you this, they remember all the 40 day vacations in the Bahamas.

They remember all the times I coached every bit of their baseball.

They remember all those different times.

So I see so many people, they’re worried about getting out of balance.

Oh, I don’t want to get out of balance.

But what they do is they struggle through their whole life of not living that fulfillment, fitness-wise, finances-wise, relationships-wise, all those different things that they basically live an average to below average life and don’t see that fulfillment.

Number seven is have an awareness and make adjustments.

I could talk to you all day long about personal experiences, all these different things, but you have to got to understand that you are not gonna be perfect.

You’re gonna make mistakes.

If you’re focused way too much only on the income for way too long, you see that your wife or your husband is needing some time with you, you’ve got to make an adjustment.

I could always tell with my oldest son, Pearson, when I knew that I was pushing my limits and being gone too much, I could tell by the way he hung onto my leg when I was going to a meeting.

And I would automatically look at Candice and say, this weekend, I need to go spend some time with Pearson.

I always knew that look in Candice’s eye that I’m like, okay, I’ve gotta slow down here just a second.

We gotta make sure that we prioritize and do a date night.

And we pretty much, during this time that I’m telling you about, we pretty much did a date night at least once a week.

And most of the time now still do once a week, and a lot of times, two times a week.

But you can’t put so much pressure on yourself in figuring this out, because you’re the only person that can figure this out.

That you know what, I don’t know exactly my prioritization, what it needs to be, all these different things.

That’s why we’re always looking and having a good awareness and making adjustments as we go.

That is very, very critical.

Number nine, or excuse me, number eight, is learn how to be an exceptional leader.

You know, leadership in today’s world is pretty much non-existent, all the way from the politics side.

And I mean, that’s just the truth.

And I see so many people that they’re worried about the things that maybe they shouldn’t be focused on, all these different things.

And if you will make a determination that you are gonna lead your home and you’re gonna be the best leader in your industry, you’re gonna be the best leader at the workforce, you’re gonna be the best leader all the way around.

I’m gonna tell you, you will make some mistakes on the balance of your life.

But see, true leadership is putting others first.

And when you truly learn how to be a good leader, the balance is something that’s always gonna be in your face.

You’re always gonna be looking and saying, I need to make this adjustment.

Yes, this may be best for me, but what’s best for my family is making this decision and learn how to be an exceptional leader.

And that’s something that’s going to bring so much value to anyone that is around you.

Number nine is create a life that you love on a daily basis.

See, I learned in my 30s that I was chasing finances for the time that it would buy me.

For that way, I could spend those relationships.

For I could find my purpose and focus on my purpose.

And if you will create a life like that, and you have to create it, you know, life is not just going to, a boss is just not gonna give you a raise, and your wife’s not gonna automatically love you more, and your kids are not just gonna automatically love you more.

You have to structure your life and put it down on a piece of paper and say, this is what my life is gonna be like.

When I talk to men my age, and they’re like, man, I’m not motivated no more.

I can’t even hardly get out of bed.

I don’t have no desire.

I’m not competing on it.

I’m like, man, you are not creating a life that you want to live on a daily basis.

And no one else can do that for you.

That’s the best advice I can give anyone.

I have no problem getting up in the morning.

I’m excited to tackle my workout.

I’m excited to eat my food correctly.

I’m excited to log that.

I’m excited to make the sales calls.

I’m excited to do.

You should have that excitement in your life, because I actually love my life.

And if you don’t love your life, let’s start creating a life today that you absolutely love.

Number 10, it’s not about you.

It’s all about the impact you can make on others.

I mean, all of us, I want all of you listening to never have to worry about money in the next two to three to four to five years.

Find you a way that you can go take care of finances.

Find you a way that you can get in the gym and be physically fit.

But I’m going to tell you that when it all comes to an end here, the question we have to ask ourselves is, did we make an impact on other people’s lives?

You could have 20 million in the bank, but if you have not made an impact on other people’s lives, you’re not going to feel completed.

It’s all about, what am I going to do on creating this life that I love that’s going to make an impact on other people’s lives?

Last, I just have a quote for you that I’ll share with you.

It’s one of my favorite quotes from Winston Churchill.

Success is not final.

Failure is not fatal.

It’s the courage to continue that counts.

I’m going to break this down.

Success is not final.

This is something that all of us older men and older women need to listen to because it’s so easy to think, well, I was the number one sales guy in this company, and I made this much money, or I’m a CEO of this corporation, or I’ve done this, or I’ve done this.

Success is not final.

If you’re living in that life, all you’re doing is celebrating your past victories.

You’re dying inside, just like a flower is either growing or it’s dying.

It’s not in between.

You have to ask yourself, am I really celebrating still what I’ve done in the past because success is not final, failure is not fatal.

You’re going to make some wrong decisions in your balance.

That’s okay.

That’s not fatal.

It’s not going to kill you to make those adjustments, but it’s the courage to continue that counts.

Do you have the courage to say, I’m going to take care of the finances, I’m going to take care of the relationships, I’m going to take care of finding my purpose and giving me that time back that I can spend with my family?

Am I going to make these adjustments in my life that I need on a daily basis for I can create a life that I love to live every day because I remember it’s not about me.

It’s all about the impact.

I can make on others.

Thank you guys for choosing The Hard Truth Podcast.

Share this with a friend or a family member that maybe you think could use some direction on balance.

But remember, not everybody is perfect on this part, but find your priorities, get your core values written down that you will not waiver from, and go create the life that you want to live.